Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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