its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
