Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Never joke about your clitoris.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
