OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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