I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
