she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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