We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
