I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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