end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
