I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
