so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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