where am i from again
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
