There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
