if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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