the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
