If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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