I am puke
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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