Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
