Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
