gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
