so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
