This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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