so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
