I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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