umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
