I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize