i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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