ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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