You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
