why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
