Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
