I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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