So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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