I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
