I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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