Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
