Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I don't think brook has ever known best
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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