I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
