She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
