Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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