i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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