whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
