I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
