Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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