can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize