Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
