How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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