I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm at about main and main street
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
