Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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