My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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