We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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