feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
