She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
