i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
