What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
