Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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