She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
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