So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize