this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
