Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize