Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
