I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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