I hate all girls vehemently.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
