dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
