She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
