sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
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